How can you be to blame? You did nothing wrong. You had your own concerns.
It was my choice....
My decision....
The reason why surviving the burial mounds was so difficult... and why I had to take that dark path....
[It was hard to say, but he felt like he should. He owed that somehow. Yet, it felt a little wrong to share. Like he was sharing someone else's secret that they didn't know about. He didn't even know for sure if it would even be the same for them.
But... he still had to share for his own sake.]
After I came back, I no longer had my golden core. It was gone shortly before I disappeared for three months....
At the time it felt like the right thing to do. He was... he was so damaged. He didn't have a reason to live. I thought I would be fine, and, I had to protect him. It was my job, it was my duty. I had made a promise to take care of him.
I never told him. I never told anyone, though he found out in the end, and found out here as well.
I made the right decision defending them, I may not of gone about it thr best way, and ultimately failed, but I could not stand by and let them suffer when they were innocent.
And he's different, I owe so much, and I promised Madam Yu, I promised her, the last thing she ever said to us. I promised Uncle Jiang, those are things I can't not do.
I had assumed I could just go be a farmer. Live a small life. It would have been fine.
I know it wasn’t. But, I still don’t know what else I would have done. The past is the past anyway, it can’t be changed. Maybe someone else can find a different path forward
I can cultivate now, though this body's aptitude is low and didn't make a core yet. I have been working on one, and should have it soon.
So don'tworry about that! This second life, in many ways, has been a blessing. A chance to try again, and realize the mistakes I have made, and make up for some of them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It was my choice....
My decision....
The reason why surviving the burial mounds was so difficult... and why I had to take that dark path....
[It was hard to say, but he felt like he should. He owed that somehow. Yet, it felt a little wrong to share. Like he was sharing someone else's secret that they didn't know about. He didn't even know for sure if it would even be the same for them.
But... he still had to share for his own sake.]
After I came back, I no longer had my golden core. It was gone shortly before I disappeared for three months....
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Please excuse me.
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His had been destroyed after being captured....
At the time it felt like the right thing to do. He was... he was so damaged. He didn't have a reason to live. I thought I would be fine, and, I had to protect him. It was my job, it was my duty. I had made a promise to take care of him.
I never told him. I never told anyone, though he found out in the end, and found out here as well.
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And how could I leave him like that?
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And he's different, I owe so much, and I promised Madam Yu, I promised her, the last thing she ever said to us. I promised Uncle Jiang, those are things I can't not do.
I had assumed I could just go be a farmer. Live a small life. It would have been fine.
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Cultivation still hurts?
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So don'tworry about that! This second life, in many ways, has been a blessing. A chance to try again, and realize the mistakes I have made, and make up for some of them.
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