If you want to do something do it, I'm not going to stop you. But at least be fair and explain and come to me properly instead of hiding. I thought we were beyond that now.
[He was troubled, annoyed in fact. Everything from his tone to the expression on his face exposed this fact.]
[It was the same conversation again, over and over. But clearly, clearly there had been a desire that was different! He can only assume so much, he can only understand so much. He wasnt even angry by the question itself, but the lack of proper conversation and then the immediate accusation.
Did he want to sleep with other people.]
What you are being is avoidant. Talk to me properly and do not put on me what your own desires are. Explain what your question means.
It is known that you do now like... being struck. I do not wish to put you in an uncomfortable situation. I do not wish to have sexual relations with anyone but you.
(( He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts and find the words to express them properly. His brow furrows slightly and a hint of a frown tugs his lips. ))
[It was embaressing and he still remembered that dream and how mortifying it had been. Perhaps he deserved it for messing around, but still, never again.]
Can you explain how you would be hitting others in a situation where you need my permission?
[This was the problem, this was what he was having a hard time understanding. If it was discipline, there is no need to ask. If it is sexual, then there is. But if it isn't sexual, but he needs to give permission, what did that even mean!?]
I don't need to be reassured. I trust you more than myself.
[But sometimes he felt that Lan Zhan did not always voice things he should.]
I might not understand it, but I'll try. You never deny me anything, so, I don't want to deny you things either. I don't have to watch you unless that's actually something you wanted.
[How well he can keep that as a promise though was hard to say. He always meant what he meant at that moment, but feelings easily changed over time.]
[He nods and tries to give a reassuring smile. He can't help his conflicting emotions, but, he did k ow that Lan Zhan would never do anything to hurt him and he would always be there for him. Even if he didnt understand this place or how it can change people.]
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Do you want an arrangement?
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It troubles you. I will not.
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[He was troubled, annoyed in fact. Everything from his tone to the expression on his face exposed this fact.]
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(( He looks down, now disappointed in himself for asking. Perhaps he's become too accustomed to having free reign with his desires. ))
I have all I need in you.
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[It was the same conversation again, over and over. But clearly, clearly there had been a desire that was different! He can only assume so much, he can only understand so much. He wasnt even angry by the question itself, but the lack of proper conversation and then the immediate accusation.
Did he want to sleep with other people.]
What you are being is avoidant. Talk to me properly and do not put on me what your own desires are. Explain what your question means.
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(( He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts and find the words to express them properly. His brow furrows slightly and a hint of a frown tugs his lips. ))
It is not my intent to hurt you.
(( Emotionally or physically. ))
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[It was embaressing and he still remembered that dream and how mortifying it had been. Perhaps he deserved it for messing around, but still, never again.]
Can you explain how you would be hitting others in a situation where you need my permission?
[This was the problem, this was what he was having a hard time understanding. If it was discipline, there is no need to ask. If it is sexual, then there is. But if it isn't sexual, but he needs to give permission, what did that even mean!?]
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[Because just because you're not sticking it in someone else doesn't mean this isn't complicated and sexual in nature.]
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[What was so great about it anyway?]
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Wei Ying, do you wish to be present to monitor the situation?
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[It sounded embaressing to watch someone get spanked. Why would he?]
Did you want me to...?
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[But sometimes he felt that Lan Zhan did not always voice things he should.]
I might not understand it, but I'll try. You never deny me anything, so, I don't want to deny you things either. I don't have to watch you unless that's actually something you wanted.
[How well he can keep that as a promise though was hard to say. He always meant what he meant at that moment, but feelings easily changed over time.]
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Mm.
(( After a beat, he adds: ))
I will give extra attention to you after.
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I will look forward to your attention.
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Thank you.
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Since you never deny me, how can I deny you?