Young master Wei. You would find fault with the truth, rather than the same person seeking to be close to Xiao Xingchen daozhang under false pretenses once again, protected by the daozhang's ignorance and the silence of those who know?
Did you see what happened to him? Did you see how things became? Did you see that tragedy first hand!? No matter the world or the potential differences, I can't abide by a world where he suffers again. He already shattered himself once! If keeping such a terrible future from him keeps him from the same fate so be it!
I lived it for myself, young master Wei. And as such, the way to save him suffering is to give the choice to him, rather than have it taken from him, over and over again, once more.
The suffering would be if, as others have done before, he disappears for a few days and returns to seeing how those who knew left him to give his trust again to the man who took everything from him. The suffering would be to look at the person he loves enough to give everything up for, and see that he lied to him and deceived him over months and months.
With the truth, what was shattered can be rebuilt. With lies alone, there is no hope.
I would never tear him down! I want to do whatever I can... what I couldn't do, what I was too late to do. What... what none of us could help with, because of our situations....
[He was dead, Lan Wangji was recovering... they had both been too early and too late.]
I understand, young master Wei. Please do not direct your anger where it is not due. Including at yourself.
None of this is easy. And seeing someone cared about in pain is one of the worst.
But consider the paths to easing that pain, rather than the pain itself. It is... there are few ways forward which do not lead to disaster. This is the only way that I am somewhat certain of.
I think... part of the reason why he was so fragile is because he had nothing left. So long as that is not the case, he probably will keep going, trying to come to terms with all of it.
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text; after xxc's post
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The suffering would be if, as others have done before, he disappears for a few days and returns to seeing how those who knew left him to give his trust again to the man who took everything from him. The suffering would be to look at the person he loves enough to give everything up for, and see that he lied to him and deceived him over months and months.
With the truth, what was shattered can be rebuilt. With lies alone, there is no hope.
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That man was betrayed by a cold cruel world and a heartless monster that consumes its own chances at turning over a new leaf.
He was fragile... so fragile....
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Help build up his strength, then. Lend him yours, if you can. Don't make him feel even worse for knowing.
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[Had he not also broken down at once time as well? The only difference was he was a tainted monster, who died like he deserved.]
It is quite a lot that he hasn't shattered himself again....
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[ Xiao Xingchen believes himself a monster, too. It is correct in neither case. ]
You need not be the one to hold him together. Just be there for him, and do not tear him further down. Do you think that is too much?
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[He was dead, Lan Wangji was recovering... they had both been too early and too late.]
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...
I don't know.
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None of this is easy. And seeing someone cared about in pain is one of the worst.
But consider the paths to easing that pain, rather than the pain itself. It is... there are few ways forward which do not lead to disaster. This is the only way that I am somewhat certain of.
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Besides, do you think at this point that *would* bring relief to Xiao Xingchen Daozhang?
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[His temper was always bad, and some things would never change. This was the side of him that needed a balance.]
No... but, I don't know what to do.
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Healing takes time. That he is not shutting himself out from it is already the beginning of hope.
Though anything more will probably be a while coming.
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He might have times when he is the one exception. But he is holding on.
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I think... part of the reason why he was so fragile is because he had nothing left. So long as that is not the case, he probably will keep going, trying to come to terms with all of it.
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But that is not the case for any of us unless they choose it, not here.
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...
I think I need a moment.
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